News You Can’t Make Up: Woman Dies After Fat Police Officer Sits on Her

by Mike Oakland

Police registered a negligence report in the wake of an incident that saw a 40-year-old woman die after an apparently heavy-set police officer sat on her.

Responding to a distress call from a resident in the woman’s neighborhood, police arrive on the scene to find the woman screaming and throwing objects.

Police then followed standard procedure of, “okay, everybody grab a limb and hope for the best,” and managed to subdue the woman. The heavyset officer, who reportedly weighs around 100 kilograms (approx. 220 lbs), either decided to help out or needed a rest after all the excitement, and straddled the woman.

American police officers, who routinely weigh over 220 lbs, are probably told to avoid this situation by just shooting people instead.

American police officers, who routinely weigh over 220 lbs, are probably told to avoid this situation by just shooting people instead.

The sheer weight of the officer apparently cut oxygen off from the woman’s brain, leaving her unconscious. She died in the hospital several days later.

Certainly stricken with guilt over the woman’s death, the heavyset officer is probably drowning his sorrows with one or two of Lotteria’s new 9-patty hamburgers.

You'd best finish it, there's kids in Africa starving you know.

Source: Rocketnews via Yomiuri Shinbun

More recent crime news: Certain Bodily Fluid Outs Serial Elementary School Flasher

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