by Mike Oakland
Police registered a negligence report in the wake of an incident that saw a 40-year-old woman die after an apparently heavy-set police officer sat on her.
Responding to a distress call from a resident in the woman’s neighborhood, police arrive on the scene to find the woman screaming and throwing objects.
Police then followed standard procedure of, “okay, everybody grab a limb and hope for the best,” and managed to subdue the woman. The heavyset officer, who reportedly weighs around 100 kilograms (approx. 220 lbs), either decided to help out or needed a rest after all the excitement, and straddled the woman.
The sheer weight of the officer apparently cut oxygen off from the woman’s brain, leaving her unconscious. She died in the hospital several days later.
Certainly stricken with guilt over the woman’s death, the heavyset officer is probably drowning his sorrows with one or two of Lotteria’s new 9-patty hamburgers.
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