New Japanese Bra Rewards Only a Woman’s True Love with Sweet Bewb Action

We all know that the female breast has an almost magical power over male behavior. A typical man would do anything up to and including telling a woman he is a time travelling secret agent for even the briefest glimpse of her bewbs.

"Lady, JFK's life depends on you showing me your bewbs right now!!"

“Lady, JFK’s life depends on you showing me your bewbs right now!!”
(Via Shutterstock)

Of course, for a woman, such unwanted advances and blatant lies designed to impress her bra right off can be a real hassle, so Japanese lingerie manufacturer Ravijour has taken the liberty of inventing this crazy “True Love Tester” bra that supposedly only opens in the presence of a woman’s true love.

The device measures a woman’s heart rate and feeds the data into a smartphone app that analyzes results. If the heart rate remains within a certain zone associated with heart rhythms a woman experiences when flirting with someone she has genuine feelings for, the bra pops right off.

We sincerely hope "Nervousness from unwanted sexual advances" doesn't fall into that pink area.

We sincerely hope “Nervousness from unwanted sexual advances” doesn’t fall into that pink area.

And we mean pops off. Not “unlocks” or “grants access.” The damn thing basically explodes off the woman’s chest.

It’s important to note that the technology isn’t perfect, so women should be aware that some activities, such as watching a slow-burning psychological thriller or walking hurriedly for the train might trigger the brasplosion mechanism.

Also, depending on the woman, it could be entirely possible for a man to game the device; if the wearer is particularly shallow, for instance, leaning directly into the bra and whispering “I make six figures” may just send the bra hurtling into the wall with tremendous force.

"SELF DESTRUCT IN 5... 4... 3..."

“SELF DESTRUCT IN 5… 4… 3…”

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