It’s not an uncommon opinion that classic art was thought provoking, beautiful to behold and required actual hard work and serious time commitments, while modern art is all just thinly veiled poop jokes, toilets in places toilets usually aren’t, and photographers making excuses to take nude pictures of chicks.
Well, we’re sorry to have to break the news to you, but sometimes classic art was no better than a dubiously talented “artist” stifling laughter while defacing several feet of good parchment with what amounts to one extended fart joke.
Behold, the “Fart Battle Scroll,” an Edo period masterpiece that supposedly represented some kind of political satire at the time and might have run in the era’s newspapers next to Marmaduke:
The scroll depicts men and women shamelessly exposing their genitals in order to engage in an epic battle of wind breaking, using all manner of sophisticated tactics including group-farting into a giant bag to create a sort of fart cannon, and using farts to launch cats as projectiles somehow. At least one of the combatants’ gas is apparently so potent it even straight up kills a horse:
Now, if you’re a member of the Huffington Post or Buzzfeed editorial team and are wringing your hands in anticipation of your next click-grabbing “Those Japanese sure are crazy” headline, remember that a lot of Western fine art had its share of fart and sex jokes too – sometimes scrawled onto priceless manuscripts.