What Even is This? Lotteria Introduces Ridiculously Impractical 5-Patty Burger Mouse

Dear Lotteria,

We were charmed by your 9-patty burger. We even went so far as to actually order it, even though we knew it was clearly a joke and you didn’t expect people to ever actually eat it. We went along with your bacon cube burger because bacon. We even let slide that disgusting chicken, mustard and chocolate sandwich because we wanted to give you the benefit of the doubt that you hadn’t just given up entirely on making actual, edible food.


But now, with this obviously impractical 5-patty burger computer mouse that you’ve made for some reason, we know for sure that you’re just fucking with all of us. There is no possible way to actually use this device as intended, just as there is no possible way to physically put your ludicrous 5-patty burger in a human mouth.

Please come out of your Escher painting-esque other-realm and join us here again in reality, where burgers are edible and computer mice actually serve a useful purpose. You’ll thank us later.

Best Regards,


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